Do Not Laugh
by DoitsuDeutschland
Summary: Alfred gets so sick and tired of Arthur's smiles and laughs that he plans on shutting him up, but Arthur just won't stop, even when the tables turn on Alfred. 2PUSUK 2P!America x 2P!England warning: violence and sexual content


Another 2P!England story, though not in the Scones universe since this involves other 2P nations. Scones only contains 2P!England (who I call Artie), so don't expect the others.

Summery: Alfred gets so sick and tired of Arthur's smiles and laughs that he plans on shutting him up, but Arthur just won't stop, even when the tables turn on Alfred.

Warning: attempted sex, blood, organ fucking, gore, vivisection, attempted rape (I don't know on this), violence, cussing, canniablism, character death, 2P nations

I own nothing, these characters belong to their respective owners, I just own the plot.

Pairing: USUKUS, 2P edition

WARNING! IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ANY OF THE CONTENTS IN THIS STORY, PLEASE TURN AWAY. IF YOU WISH TO SEE WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN, YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO DO SO, I AM JUST GIVING YOU A HEADS UP ON HOW DISTURBING THIS WILL END UP.

Uhg, let's see how far I can get through this before it goes completely off track...

On with the fic.

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><p>Do Not Laugh<p>

2P!USUK one-shot

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><p><em>"Do not laugh as a hearse goes by, for you may be the next to die~" <em>Arthur sang as he removed the cupcakes from the oven, smelling their sweet scent.

"Will you stop singing that fucking song? You've been singing it all day! God, you can be more annoying then acid-face sometimes." Alfred growled, storming into the kitchen. The crimson-eyed man glared though his dark shades at Arthur. He was so sick of his shit today, the damn blond had been all bounsy and happy that it made Alfred sick to his stomach.

He hated seeing Arthur happy, it was so... uhg! It just pissed him off so much!

Arthur turned and smiled a bit, placing the tray on the counter as he turned off the oven. "Oh Alfie, don't be so angry, come, have a cupcake! I haven't frosted them yet but they still taste good!"

"I don't want your fucking cupcake!" The other nation stormed over and slapped Arthur who blinked but giggled a bit.

"That hurt~!" He giggled once more. Alfred growled and stuck him again, God how he hated Arthur, sometimes he would perfer being around the other's good counterpart then this laughing fool. He was so tired of it. The dark haired man kicked him in the legs, knocking him down. "Oww! Alfie~ what are you doing?" Arthur blinked, looking at him with his baby blue eyes,

"Shut your fucking mouth!" He barked at the other, stomping on his stomach, enjoying the gasp of pain from Arthur, only to frown as the other let out gasping giggles.

Arthur looked at him, he looked to be in pain but he was still smiling. "This is a mean game Alfie, did I do something? I swear I didn't open you up for my pies again, you know I'm not a liar~"

Alfred kicked him once more and picked him up by his hair, hearing a hiss of pain, though the smile was still on his face. He then slammed Arthur's face against the stove, with a loud bang. Arthur felt dizzy, his head was bleeding a little where he got hurt. "Alfie, why are you hurting me? I didn't take your bat like last time."

The other man didn't respond, he opened the over and shoved Arthur's arm inside, slamming the door shut, there was a loud scream that soon followed before it turned into laughter. "Stop fucking laughing you little freak!" The dark haired man yelled and threw the smaller man into the counter. "I'll get you to shut that damn trap of yours..." He yanked down the blond's pants.

"Uhh... Alfie? What are you doing? Is this a game~?" Arthur blinked, looking at him, only to be punched in the eye, making the Brit's head spin from the sudden strike.

"Stop talking." He shoved his finger into Arthur's entrance, making the other let out a gasp from the sudden intrusion.

"Alfie, I don't want to play this game."

"It's not a game, it's just to get you to shut your pretty little trap. I only came over because I was bored but I think I should have just stayed at my annoying good half's house, at least he isn't as annoying as you." He shoved two more fingers in without warning, making Arthur gasp in pain.

Oh, but then he giggled.

He giggled and then chuckled and then laughed, oh God how he laughed. Why was he laughing? He was being finger raped right now, no one would be laughing at such a horrible thing.

But this is Artie.

And this is his knife.

Not as fun as his beloved poison, but still fun to shove into someone's stomach.

Like Alfred's.

Oh how he loved to stab Alfred.

"GAH!" Alfred hacked, feeling the blade enter his stomach. He had not noticed that Arthur had grabbed a knife from the counter until he felt the cold blade going into his skin. He bit back a scream as his skin was torn, his guts starting to pouts out from the deep slip.

SPLURP-SPLAT!

Ah, there was the beautiful, sickening splatter of warm, bloody, wet organs hitting the clean kitchen floor. Such a common sound for Arthur to hear, oh how he loved it, oh how he loved that Alfred never got use to his organs falling out.

The taller nation stumbled, his head fuzzy from the blood loss. "You son of a bitch..." He growled, wishing he had grabbed his bat when he came in here to hurt that damn Brit.

Arthur looked at him, still holding the knife. "Let's play a game Alfie, the game you were playing with me wasn't nice, I don't want to have you play with me there, but maybe you might like me playing with these." He tapped the pile of twitiching, tangled intestinal tracks. The damn smile was on his face still, but it looked strained, his eyes flashed with different emotions.

Alfred glared at him, panting hard, he was going to pass out, die, but this wasn't the first time. Arthur had killed him before, on several occassions, but this was new, was Arthur going to rape him like he had tried to do just moments before? Alfred couldn't help but smirk, he was actually interesting in seeing this before he died.

Maybe the little brat was able to do something darker then using organs to make his baked good, or pouring poison into people's drinks.

"Come on ya little fucker, do what you want to do. Don't hold back!" Alfred smirked, wanting Arthur to play with him, wanting him to pull a Jeffery Dahmer!

The other stared down at him and go down on his knees, his hands touching the nasty mess on the floor, his eyes flashing. Blue. Pink. Blue. Pink. Blue and pink spirals that swirled around and around. Ooh, he was getting into one of his moods, he wasn't going to remember what was about to happen, Alfred liked that, he liked that very much. "Do it." He encouraged. Arthur continued to look at the pile and Alfred growled.

**"Do it!"**

That did it. Arthur took his bloody hand and started to play with his vital, his other hand reaching into the America's open wound and pulled at a kidney. He yanked it out, earning a hiss of pain from Alfred. He started to eat the kidney, raw, smiling, as he pumped himself, getting hard.

"You want to me to play with your insides, right Alfie?" Arthur asked, giggling like a little school girl. The other nodded, wanting to see what he could do, watching him continue to eat the organ he held, the little freak sure loved to eat his victims. Arthur tossed away the rest of the ruined organ and looked at the throbing pile and leaned into it, his hard on touching the warm mess.

Alfred watched, doing his best to stay awake. He watched as Arthur started to move a bit, he smirked. Oh but the smirk was there for only a moment, for then he heard Arthur sing, sing that annoyed little song once again._ "Do not laugh as a hearse goes by... for you may be the next to die..." _He smiled as he sang, his eyes still spinning about.

"Don't sing, just fuck." Alfred snarled, but he went ignored

_"They wrap you up in a big white sheet, from your head, down to your feet... they put you in a big old box, they cover you in dirt and rocks..." _He was stuck on the face, but yet he continued to smile, to move in and out of the pile. _"Everything's fine for about a week... and then your coffin begins to leak..."_

CRACK!

He was hit with the cupcake pan, slamming right into his skull where he had made contact with the stove before. He was very dizzy, his head hurt, he was bleeding, his skull was cracked, and yet he continued to smile, to sing.

_"The worms go in and the worms come out, the worms play pinochle on your snout..! They eat yours eyes and they eat your nose, they eat the jelly between your toes..!"_ Arthur sang loudly, ignoring Alfred's demands for him to stop singing. He continued to thrust into the organs, oh this was so filthy, he felt like Francis, he was being so disgusting, so vulgar, so...

Naughty.

Alfred was so pissed about the song, but he was enjoying the show, watching that stupid smile remain on Arthur's conflicted face. Was he aware of his actions? Was he scared of what he was doing but enjoying all at once? What an idiot, he had no self control at all.

_"A big green worm with rolling eyes goes in your stomach and out your eyes!" _The Brit yelled and picked up his knife once more and held it up high, ready to strike when the time came. He was smiling but it was horribly strained now, like it was painful to do it.

_"You're stomach turns a slimy green!" _The knife came down, hitting the other in the chest, the blade came out and went back into the body again and again. Alfred let out pained screams as he was stabbed over and over. _"AND PUS POURS OUT LIKE WHIPPING CREAM!"_

The stabbing stopped, the screams ceased, Arthur blinked, looking down at the dead man in front of him. He frowned a bit, Alfred had at least thirty knife wounds in his chest and face, one of his eyes was pulled out and still stuck on the knife, his organs just laying on the floor. He stood up and walked over to Alfred's upper body and got down, petting his hair.

_"You spread it on a slice of bread, and that is what you eat when you are dead." _He sung softly, looking down at his favorite victims face. He looked about, seeing that his new cupcakes were ruined, laying on the messy, bloody floor.

"How rude Alfie, you messed up my yummy cupcakes!" He lectured the dead body. "Now I need to make more, you're lucky you're already opened or I'd be in a bit of trouble since I'm out of what I need." He looked at the bleeding face. "Oh Alfie, this is what happens when you tell me to stop being me."

And then he smiled.

END

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><p>...<p>

Meh, could have been better, could have been worse. I just really had a strong urge to have Artie fuck Alfie's organs in a fashion a'la famous serial killer Jeffery Dahmer. I have a feeling that Artie shares a lot in common with Jeffery.

So, if anyone has any ideas for me when it comes to Alfie and Artie, please tell me, I'm in the mood to write more. :3

Btw, Alfie mentions someone called 'acid-face', that's my 2P!Prussia. He's blond with blue eyes, but he has a massive scar on the left side of his face from 2P!Germany throwing acid at him. His face, part of his neck, left shoulder, arm and hand are a massive collection of pink scar tissue. He is also blind in his right eye, from something that happened in his younger days, but his left eye can see just fine even though there is a strand of melted skin connecting his eyelids in front of it. Why did I make him look like that? Because I wanted him to have the biggest scar of them all. Also, he's not crazy like the rest of them, he's the most sane and understands what the others don't.

Or something like that, I don't know.

Please review.


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